The Gift of the Uninvited Guest

We all wish we didn’t have them.  Those uninvited guests – times we don’t see coming that turn our world inside out – times of loss and the often deep grief that accompanies them.  They can show up abruptly with no explanation.  Worse yet, they can make themselves quite at home settling in with fear, suffering and chaos in tow.  Our minds race frantically to understand, to restore order, to reclaim our vanishing sense of normalcy.  But peace too often remains a memory.

The uninvited guest has many disguises.  Sometimes it arrives as a natural disaster we witness in the lives of those around us.  It is hard to look, to let in, when there is so much unmasked suffering.  Yet, as we do, we may begin to sense the unexpected gift this unwanted guest of ours brings.  I notice that as I look squarely into the face of suffering that, somehow, it is that very suffering that stirs a kind of quake within me, opening me to places of feeling often kept hidden deep.  Suddenly, it doesn’t matter who they are, what nationality, what they believe.  Seeing, feeling their deep suffering stirs in me a compassion I can’t ignore.  And, allowing in the chaos, I am surprised at the feeling of unity I suddenly feel with a stranger.

Sometimes our uninvited guest is closer to home.  The unexpected change, accident, diagnosis, in our life or in the life of someone we love.  I had such a guest last November in the story I shared in The Mother Teresa Rosary: Next Chapter.

Yet, even as we are being broken open, there appears right there, the most unexpected gift brought by this uninvited guest – a gift, in fact, only this guest can bring.  It is the gift of remembrance that we are indeed mortal – that all we know and we love is finite – literally here today and gone tomorrow.  And, this is the most precious gift of all as it causes us, unhinged, to reach for something beyond our normal grasp, something beyond what we know or understand, something eternal and infinite.  It causes us to search for God.

Still, it is inescapable that this most precious gift can only be brought by the uninvited guest.  For it is only through darkness that we experience light.  Only through suffering that we can know joy.  Only through death that we know living.  It is why the poet Hahlil Gibran reminds us that should we seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure we will find our self in a …seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all your laughter, and weep, but not all your tears.  It’s why Rumi in his famous poem The Guest House tells us to welcome all of our emotional visitors – even if they are a crowd of sorrows who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still treat each quest honorably.  He may be clearing you out for some new delight. 

So, as we graciously receive each uninvited guest into our being, let’s allow love to have its way with us.  To use suffering as an opportunity to feel a little more deeply – compassion for both our self and others.  To use tragedy as an opportunity to grow much like the lotus flower using the muck under the water to blossoms because of not in spite of. To use so-called death as an opportunity to surrender all we hold dear only to find ourselves held by the Beloved.

Let’s receive with open arms the uninvited guest, the messenger.

For hidden there is a gift from God.

Rev. Stephanie Rutt

On Monday we will honor the memory and the message of one of the great spiritual leaders of our time – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Yet, I believe as Rev. Barry Vaughn wrote in 2005, “Ever a Baptist preacher, King would invite us to turn our attention away from the messenger and to the message and to invite the God whom Dr. King served to work as redemptively and powerfully in our own lives…”

I believe if he were with us today he would challenge each of us to live out our own legacy of truth to serve those around us in our own unique way. And, daring to leave our own legacy of truth is not so much about our feelings of readiness or worthiness as much as it is about our willingness to listen to the voice of God and rise up and follow in faith.

Rev. Mark Davidson wrote, “The clear truth that rang forth in Dr. King’s words didn’t come from his brilliant mind, his talent with language, or his powerful voice. The truth came from listening to the voice of God. If we too will listen, tell the truth we have heard, and follow where the Voice leads, we will, with God’s help, step out of the shadows of his greatness and create new sources of inspiration and hope ourselves.”

Sometimes we may feel that only special people do special things. Not true. I would offer that very ordinary folk do extraordinary things when they answer the call of God in their own lives. Oh, everyone’s legacy won’t make front page news. But every person’s legacy is needed to weave the tapestry of Divine love here on earth. We each have a part to play.

Or sometimes we may feel that we’re not perfect enough. Not true. There has been much written about the humanity of Dr. King. We’ve all heard of his imperfections. In his humanity, he was just like us and we like him.

And, the most beautiful thing of all is it really isn’t so much about what we are doing at all as much as it is how we are doing it. Dr. King reminds us, “If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.’”

Hand me the broom, please!

(The following was sent out to the Tree of Life community December 20, 2011.)

Whether you are celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, the Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa…I wish you every Grace filled moment this season.

I am writing particularly full with love for you. Today, for the last time, I took fudge to my beloved friend Dick the barber. He is retiring at the end of this month. Many of you know how the Divine has played through our friendship over the years in the most miraculous of ways. For those of you not familiar, you can read the last chapter which occurred a year ago at this exact time in The Mother Teresa Rosary: The Next Chapter posted on this blog.

How very precious our time here is together. How blessed we are to get to be in a body so we can enjoy all the wondrous emotions of loving one another. We know all this will pass. We know our time is short. We know there are only so many opportunities to care for one another…to appreciate one another. Yet, it is often not until we must say good-bye that all we have received swells our heart with a gratitude that cannot be contained. This week I also said hello to a new grandbaby coming through a poem I wrote called Little Nugget I still cannot read without crying. How love does has its way with us.

So this season, I offer a prayer of thanksgiving for each of you, for each of the moments we will be together, and for all the endings and beginnings occurring each day…especially for the ones that stir us awake. Gratefully, they can make us come undone and so, if only temporarily, remember why we are here.

I am here to love you.

Blessed Holidays…

Rev. Stephanie

In September’s Tree of Life worship service, The Vision Place of the Soul, Rev. Stephanie Rutt incorporated a story about Joshua Chamberlain drawn from the Civil War.

Outnumbered and decimated by previous battles Joshua Chamberlain, in a tenuous situation at best, commanded, “Charge!” and by so doing fulfilled his Soul’s Charge.

With clarity, and seemingly against all odds and rationality, he moved forward allowing the flow of the Universe to back him as if a multitude of angels themselves fell into position to assist his diminished and wounded ranks. He and his straggly men appeared as a power, rather than as a conquerable force. Such is the possibility of the Unseen, the Divine Power awaiting our clear intention so that it might support us in an abundant and mind-boggling flow.

One person, one commitment, one action, altering the course of history just as each of our thoughts and actions affect the whole. Once we are operating from that Vision Place of the Soul the power and flow of the Universe are available to support us.

Our doubting minds, like his questioning troops, inhibits the flow. Clarity and trust became the lesson here for me.

What a wonderful way to start a Saturday morning, a spiritual practice for experiencing Joy. From the moment I walked through the door, joy filled the space. The joy of seeing wonderful loving friends and the joy that comes from anticipating a special spiritual practice. My heart was already open and singing. There is something very special and powerful about sitting in practice with a group of people. Everything is magnified for me as compared to my sitting as an individual with God.

It is hard to single out a specific segment of the practice that spoke to me more deeply, as I find that each meditation builds on the previous one. However, I had a particularly vivid and intimate experience as I sat in silence after completing the OM Meditation. It was not a prolonged experience but one that was undeniable. As I entered the silence, there was an immediate sense of being wrapped in a cocoon of God. I felt like a caterpillar wrapped in silken threads, snuggled in my capsule of God. There was a knowing that I was safe and always held, no matter what. As that knowing filled me, the cocoon grew to enfold our group. We sat together in our circle wrapped in a chrysalis of God. And then once more the cocoon grew, this time to encircle the earth. God wraps each individual in his love as well as all that He has created. May we each be able to behold God in everything and experience the fullness of joy.

When we are left standing in the wake of our inhumanity to man, such as after the 9/11 attacks, even years later, it is still tempting to compartmentalize suffering into a kind of score sheet of winners and losers. Good if they suffer. Bad if we do. It may do us well to pause and remember that healing takes time and forgiveness even longer. However, just as we discover in our own personal and family relationships, suffering continues until we recognize that nobody really wins until, together, we create ways in which we all win. I see it no differently in our world family.

Instead of isolating to celebrate what is surely only a temporary win, I challenge each of us to stop longer, dig deeper and to join together to forge new paths toward a more lasting peace for all peoples. Let’s ask each other, “What can we do to create a world where such acts of terror are not necessary?” “What can we do to promote understanding and celebrate sameness even as we respect difference?” These are difficult and challenging questions. Still, through the wrestling with them, more meaningful solutions may become our quiet victory.

I do not believe the hearts of Muslims or Jews or Buddhist or Christians are different. Looking beyond difference I see our common humanity, all of us coexisting in a finite world. And, I believe our Infinite Creator would expect nothing less of us than to wrestle with these tough questions and, in doing so, to imagine celebrations that include all of our brothers and sisters.

Rev. Stephanie Rutt
Tree of Life Interfaith Temple
Amherst, NH

Peace.

As this is the Next Chapter, for those of you who may not know the original story, I tell it in my book, An Ordinary Life Transformed: Lessons for Everyone from the Bhagavad Gita, on pgs. 153-154.

What follows is a simple accounting of what has happened.  Once in it, I started recording in my spiritual diary as I sensed I was in a story of Grace unfolding…

~~~~~~~~~~~

On November 21^st, half an hour before the start of the Class of 2011 seminary day, I feel a strange sensation.  I go to the bathroom and see I am bleeding.  Being 5+ years post menopausal, I instinctively know this is not good.  After making a quick run to the Mobile Station for emergency protection, I walk back into the Tree of Life and look at my guru Mother Teresa.  I remember how she carried on, fully committed to her mission, regardless of what was happening within her.  I would do the same – this day and throughout the weeks to follow.

That night when arriving home Mitch, my stepson, had come to visit so I knew it was not the best time to tell Doug.  This was fortuitous as I would come to know that, for this journey, it was important I go alone – at least for the time being.  That night, as I lay in bed, I rested my hands gently on my belly as I felt the full weight of the morning’s discovery come over me.  All I could do was release…release… as every cell in my body surrendered into my soft bed.  I knew fully this was not something I was going to figure out.  My only prayer was to simply rest in the sweet care of my God – the only place I know is always totally and completely there even as all else feels so challenging and uncertain.  I know this sweet womb.  I have fallen asleep here before and will likely again.  All I ache for in that moment is to rest in the full Love of my God.  I am safe here.  I am Home here.  It is all that matters to me…

The next day I go out for some errands.  When I get home, Mitch and Doug tell me there is a message for me on the phone from Dick (the barber).  Except to wave through the barbershop window, I have not seen Dick to have a conversation in about a year and a half.  (Doug gets his hair cut once a month so we stay connected that way.)  He has never called me.  In the message, he says he and his wife have just returned from Chimayo and that he has brought me back something.  He asks that I stop into the barbershop sometime to pick it up.  Then he says, “I love you.  God bless you.” Although we are certainly deeply connected, he has never spoken to me like that.  I know I have just received a message from God.

It is Thanksgiving week so I know Dick is closed and will not be open until the following Tuesday as he’s always closed on Mondays.  I am also given an appointment with my doctor on that same Tuesday.  At my doctor’s visit, she tells me that I need to see a gynecologist in Nashua for tests to rule out uterine cancer.  After the visit, I go by to see Dick.  He’s very busy with lots of folks waiting for haircuts.  But, he is clearly glad to see me and hands me a Mother Teresa Rosary with hearts on it he’s brought back from Chimayo.  I hug him fiercely as he jokingly tells me to take off.  But, when he turns his back to me I hear clearly from his subtle body, “Don’t worry.  We’ve got you covered.  We put you in.” (Chimayo is known as a place of great healing as the Mother Mary was spotted there.  There are crutches on the walls, notes, etc.)  I know, in the same moment, that I am in trouble and, also, that I’m going to be ok.  I’ve just received another message.  And, of course, Dick would have had no way of knowing – consciously – what was going on with me.

I continue my healing daily practice only now I start holding the Mother Teresa Rosary against my belly for my entire practice.  I fall asleep and wake up each night and day chanting with my rosary on my belly.  I start play Amazing Grace constantly because I know that some Grace is surely being played out in my life.  Every day I feel more and more strong, tender, and joy-filled as layers of new awareness flood my days.

A few days later I have my appointment in Nashua for an ultrasound.  I am told by the nurse practitioner that I have a thickening of the uterine wall and a polyp.  They don’t appear concerned about the polyp but say I need to return as soon as possible to see Dr. Maynard to have a biopsy taken from the uterine wall.  An appointment is made for the next week.

Over the days that follow as I continue on with my healing practice, I begin to know, ever more deeply, what is truly most important to me and a kind of sweet acceptance comes.  As a result, I know I am being blessed beyond measure.

When I go for the biopsy, I feel completely at peace.  After the nurses prep me, Dr. Maynard comes in looking serious and focused.  Then, as she looks more closely at the screen, I see her whole facial expression change.  She clearly looks relieved and says, “Ok, this is good.  I’m happy and happy for you.  When I looked at your ultrasound last week I was concerned and coming in here thought ‘this is not going to be good’.  But, now, your uterine wall looks thin and perfectly healthy.  We should get the polyp out and we’ll send it for a biopsy but it doesn’t look like anything to be concerned about.”

She then asks if I’d like to have it taken out before or after Christmas.  Remembering that Doug is retiring and I’m uncertain as to how our medical insurance will work, I say before.  She hesitates saying she’s not sure she can get me in but will try.  I’m sent down to the scheduling nurse who says she can’t believe it but has an opening the following Monday morning, December 20^th.  I’m not surprised as 20 is the most important number in my life.

On the morning of December 20^th I have day surgery.  On the 22^nd I receive a call that all is normal.

While there are so many gifts unfolding on many levels through this journey, what feels most important is to have been so concretely touched, held, guided and supported throughout by my Beloved…the One to Whom I Belong…more real to me than all around me that may appear real.  As I expressed in my Thanksgiving service, I am most grateful for the Mystery because only through the Mystery can anything at all really make any sense to me.  And, had my outcome been different, I pray I would have had faith that either a purpose would have been shown to me or I would have been asked to trust beyond my understanding…Regardless, I know that when I’m aware of being held, steadfast and steadily by my Beloved, where I am going seems not so important as just the tiniest taste of sweet remembrance…of knowing God is here…God is here…that I am…and we are…most assuredly…already Home.

I wish for each of you the full experience of being held by your Beloved…by whatever name or way you came to know your Beloved…I wish for you the amazing Grace of sweet remembrance…

We are not called to be successful.

We are called to be faithful.

Mother Teresa

Amen

We are just wrapping up our 1st year of our 1st class of students and the response has been exceptional! Our minister, Rev. Stephanie Rutt, has created and directs our seminary students on a path of inner exploration to discover and cultivate one’s unique gifts in service to a greater good, exploration of the world’s major faith traditions, and training in ministerial duties and spiritual leadership.

It is truly an amazing program and unlike any other similarly natured program out there, as As the Crow Flies specifically focuses on one’s personal journey and the “how to’s” of getting in touch with yourself, the Divine Spirit, and your gifts and treasures.

To learn more – including upcoming dates for Informational Open Houses, or to download our program Handbook and/or Application Packet – please visit us at Tree of Life Interfaith Temple.

… Doing our part to help ourselves and others truly become a force for good!…

~ Amy

And, as the ripples of our practice extend out beyond our known horizons, the expression of our life’s purpose or destiny can begin to be realized. Each of us, as sparks of the Divine, has a unique role to play in the divine plan. Through our spiritual practice, we begin to cultivate the truth of our inner life, both the impulse, or unique role, that enlivens us as well as the personal beliefs and patterns that deaden our resolve. It is from this experience that we gain the authenticity from which to offer our help, guidance and support to others. It is from this experience that we, simply through our presence, may minister to the circles that gather around us from family to strangers…and, it is from this authentic presence, that our efforts may ripple out to those destinations, graciously, known and unknown. This is our vision for all who gather at the Tree of Life.

~ Rev. Stephanie Rutt